All these have given and do give pleasure to a greater or lesser extent. Sláinte!
1. Horslips
2. Enya
3. The Chieftains
4. U2
5. Clannad
6. Thin Lizzy
7. Snow Patrol
8. The Corrs
9. Planxty
10. Van Morrison
A blog featuring whatever I fancy, often on the Christian faith but not exclusively
New Testament idols
1. Artemis (Diana) Acts 19:23-37 the Greek name of the Great Goddess of the Ephesians, the great Mother goddess, she was associated with orgiastic cults and mystery religion and was known also as Cybele, Sulla, Ma, Bellona, and Isis
2. Castor and Pollux Acts 28:11 sons of Zeus by Leda, guardians of sailors
3. Zeus and Hermes (Jupiter and Mercury) Acts 14:11-13 the high god and his messenger
Old Testament idols
The following "gods" are specifically named in the Old Testament
1. Dagon 1 Samuel 05:02 etc Philistine/Ekronian/Babylonian god of agriculture
2. Milcom 1 Kings 11:05 Ammonite god
3. Ashtoreth 1 Kings 11:05 etc Canaanite goddess
4. Chemosh 1 Kings 11:07 etc Moabite war god
5. Molech 1 Kings 11:07 Ammonite God, also called Moloch, most probably Baal-Hammon of Carthage
6. Rimmon 2 Kings 05:18 Babylonian/Syrian storm god involved (as Ramman) with the Deluge; also known as Ramman/Rammon
7. Ashima 2 Kings 17:30 Samaritan Moon goddess
8. Nergal 2 Kings 17:30 Cuth/Assyrian/Babylonian war and underworld god, also called Meshlamthea
9. Succoth-Benoth 2 Kings 17:30 Babylonian fertility goddess ("She Who Produces Seed"), also known as Zarpanitu/Zerpanitum
10. Adrammelech & Anammelech 2 Kings 17:31 Sepharvite gods
11. Nibhaz & Tartak 2 Kings 17:31 Avite gods
12. Nisroch 2 Kings 19:37 Assyrian god
13. Baal/Baalim 1 Kings 18:18, 19 etc Canaanite god[s] ("lord[s]") of fertility, vegetation and storms, pl. a collective of the different aspects of Baal. (Baal-berith, Judges 8:33 A regional variation/aspect of Baal)
14. Bel & Nebo Isaiah 46:01 Assyrian/Babylonian/Sumerian/Syrian gods. Bel = “lord”. Nebo was a god of wisdom and writing, also called Nabu
15. Tammuz Ezekial 8:14 Assyrian/Babylonian God
Coconut Jam
A Filipino couple in the church recently went home to marry and returned bearing a gift. I'd mentioned in passing a penchant for coconut jam which they were happy to help me with. It's a bit like toffee. Very sweet. Apparently Filipino coconut jam is made from coconut cream (the first and second press of grated coconut flesh) and sugar or treacle. More here.Zephaniah
It was a great joy today to be with 8 other preachers at the John Owen Centre in Finchley under the guidance of LTS vice-principal David Green looking at the Book of Zephaniah in Hebrew.
David is a great enthusiast for the Hebrew language and an excellent teacher. He not only teaches Hebrew at the LTS but kindly provides Hebrew lessons for those able and willing to attend. I haven't been able to attend the regular classes for a while but he is currently offering (at a tiny cost, including lunch) some classes of a less demanding nature (though one has to have some idea to benefit I would guess). The hope is to do one a term and this was the first.
David's approach was to set out the Hebrew text on paper with thorough notes on the Hebrew. After a short introduction he proceeded to translate and make observations on the book verse by verse with some opportunity for comment. After each of the two sessions we had half an hour to discuss how to opreach the book. It was very stimulating time indeed and a great way to preapre for preaching through Zephaniah. Of course, it works best with small units and ould be difficult to replicate with larger book but may be there is a way. Anyway we need to walk before we can run. This was a very good start.
Michael McIntyre
I happened to see this the other night. John Cleese introducing an evening of comedy for Prince Charles is only mildly funny I'm afraid but about 2' 20" Michael McIntyre comes on and after a bit he is hilarious (and totally clean).
A scientist and God
As far as I am aware the great scientist Ernest Rutherford (he split the atom) made no profession of faith but I was fascinated to read that when things got exciting in the laboratory (as they often did with him) he would burst into a raucous Onward Christian Soldiers for some reason.
I also came across this interesting quotation "Of all created comforts, God is the lender; you are the borrower, not the owner." Of course, Einstein would speak of God too but not meaning what we Christians mean. I'm not sure of the context for this statement.
Evangelistic preaching 02
In the course of his message Stuart gave us three nice example quotes which I have tried to trace.
George Whitefield
Blame me not for addressing myself to you; indeed, it is out of love to your souls. I see you are lingering in your Sodom, and wanting to stay there; but I come to you as the angel did to Lot, to take you by the hand. Come away, my dear brethren, fly, fly, fly for your lives to Jesus Christ, fly to a bleeding God, fly to a throne of grace; and beg of God to break your hearts, beg of God to convince you of your actual sins, beg of God to convince you of your original sin, beg of God to convince you of your self-righteousness, beg of God to give you faith, and to enable you to close with Jesus Christ. O you that are secure, I must be a son of thunder to you, and O that God may awaken you, though it be with thunder; it is out of love, indeed, that I speak to you. More here
Daniel Rowland
There is not one grace needful for us, but that is in him ready to be given to the most needy. He is the general treasure house of the church: Canticles 6:1. as soon as the church praised her bridegroom, and set out his excellence; than, the daughters of Jerusalem asked, saying, 'Whither is thy beloved gone, O thou fairest among women? whither is thy beloved turned aside that we may seek him with thee?' In like manner when we are told of the glory of Christ, and the excellency of his grace, we ought to seek for him, and stretch for him.
The third encouragement. He gives Salvation to us. What man, hearing that a kingdom has been left to him, will not quickly ask, where is it? and as soon as he hears, he travels there as soon as he knows. We have heard that in the Lord Jesus there is Salvation to men: run, if we cannot do this, walk; if we cannot do this, roll towards him while it is day, before the night cometh, in which no man can work; therefore, hurry. More here
The third encouragement. He gives Salvation to us. What man, hearing that a kingdom has been left to him, will not quickly ask, where is it? and as soon as he hears, he travels there as soon as he knows. We have heard that in the Lord Jesus there is Salvation to men: run, if we cannot do this, walk; if we cannot do this, roll towards him while it is day, before the night cometh, in which no man can work; therefore, hurry. More here
C H Spurgeon
An old eastern conqueror when he came to a city used to light a brazier of coals, and, setting it high upon a pole he would, with sound of trumpet proclaim, that if they surrendered while the lamp held out and burned he would have mercy upon them, but that when the coals were out he would storm the city, pull it stone from stone, sow it with salt, and put men, women, and children, to a bloody death. Today the thunders of God bid you to take the like warning. There is your light, the lamp, the brazier of hot coals. Year after year the fire is dying out, nevertheless there is coal left. Even now the wind of death is trying to blow out the last live coal. Oh! sinner, turn while the lamp continues to blaze. Turn now, for when the last coal is dead thy repentance cannot avail thee. Thy everlasting yelling in torment cannot move the heart of God; thy groans and briny tears cannot move him to pity thee. To-day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts as in the provocation. Oh, to-day lay hold on Christ, "Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him." More here
Evangelistic preaching 01
We were all at Gerard Hemmings' again for a Monday morning fraternal today in Amyand Park (about 12 or so were there). This time he'd arranged for Suart Olyott to address us. Stuart took opportunity to speak to us on evangelistic preaching as he fears there is not enough of it about. He warned us against Lutheran Amyraldianism then made six good points from Acts 2. This was followed by a nice time of discussion followed by lunch for those who could stay.
1. EP is not a different species of preaching
2. EP aims at seeing every person converted now
3. EP sets about accomplishing its aim by establishing guilt. It does this in a variety of ways but is always 'collision evangelism' (not "crematorium evangelism or pipette evangelism")
4. EP answers the question that a guilty heart will ask
5. EP seeks to accomplish its ends by means of persuasion
6. EP concludes with the preacher having personal dealings with those who are concerned
Stuart Olyott is always stimulating and we all found this helpful. I wanted some clarification on "collision evangelism" and was assured that it is not the same as being nasty. He does have his own take on Acts 17 as a hard sell rather than a soft sell, which was interesting.
Lloyd-Jones: Messenger of Grace
I must confess that when this book appeared part of me felt there could be little more to say on Lloyd-Jones. That was a mistake. This book, which is full of wisdom, sustained my interest from beginning to end. I particularly appreciated the essay on the controversial book Joy Unspeakable. I wish it had been available to read years ago. Iain Murray has such respect for the Doctor that where he sees weakness (such as the Doctor on the baptism of the Spirit) he is able to point these out without rubbishing the whole package (why others can't do that I don't know). I also enjoyed the chapters on preaching in the Spirit and the one comparing the Doctor with Spurgeon, which was very helpful for preachers and a great idea for exploring. Another chapter deals with 1966 and the fall out falling the split with Anglicanism. This is a very difficult area but Murray sets it all out very clearly. Something similar can be said about the way he deals thoroughly and fairly with Packer. Murray makes lots of other wise comments generally and with regard to the Doctor and there are lots of other good things stowed away in this wonderful book and one would be gratified to think that young people, especially ministers, were getting hold of this and making use of it.
Being better parents 3
5. Consider some complicating factors
Five come to mind.
1. Husband and wife disagree on something. We mentioned this earlier. Inevitably you and your spouse are going to disagree on some aspect of your child’s upbringing. It may be something big – He wants him to go to boarding school!?? She let’s them eat in bed! What time they can come in at night. Can they watch The Simpsons? How you resolve such issues belongs to the area of marriage guidance not parenting but do be aware of the problem.
2. Children playing off mum against dad. This follows on. Your children will certainly spot differences if they are there – and exploit them if they can. They will even try ‘Dad/mam said I could’ when actually mam/dad simply said ‘ask mam/dad’ which is quite different.
3. More than one child. I remember as a young man being in people’s houses and sometimes seeing crayon marks on one of the nice books or somewhere. And I would think to myself, when I have kids that won’t happen in my house. And I still thought that when I had my first son. But then after the second or third I began to see how this sort of thing happens. While you’re busy with one child the other one is getting up to mischief. Often while you’re busy telling one off another will need attention and so things get left. I have a vivid memory too of coming home from church once when we had three little boys –they must have been 7, 4 and 3 – and there was a new hole in the ground. First, the eldest jumped in, then the second, then the third. Children copy each other – it was alright that time but sometimes it can be a problem.
4. Fast changing scene. Children especially are constantly changing. There is a big difference between a 2 year old toddler and a 10 year old boy and a 16 year old teenager. It would be madness to try treating them in the same way. At the same time technology is changing and the possibilities too. With our oldest we simply wouldn’t let him have his own hand held computer game but then at some point we were given some consoles and, for good or ill, all the boys sometimes play on the Nintendo or the Wii. Have we grown soft? Or are we just adapting to changing times? It can be a fine line but certainly we need to adapt.
5. In public and private. One other thing worth mentioning is that it is one thing to discipline children in the privacy of your home but when you are out or if you have visitors present, it is a different thing. Children often latch on to that and will take advantage sometimes, regardless of the consequences later. Again I am pointing out something to think about rather than giving answers though it should be obvious that we should aim to keep discipline as private as possible and certainly do all we can not to publicly humiliate our children. It is probably the public humiliation that drives the opposition to smacking children in the supermarket rather than a fundamental opposition to physical punishment.
6. Some closing remarks
1. Husband and wife disagree on something. We mentioned this earlier. Inevitably you and your spouse are going to disagree on some aspect of your child’s upbringing. It may be something big – He wants him to go to boarding school!?? She let’s them eat in bed! What time they can come in at night. Can they watch The Simpsons? How you resolve such issues belongs to the area of marriage guidance not parenting but do be aware of the problem.
2. Children playing off mum against dad. This follows on. Your children will certainly spot differences if they are there – and exploit them if they can. They will even try ‘Dad/mam said I could’ when actually mam/dad simply said ‘ask mam/dad’ which is quite different.
3. More than one child. I remember as a young man being in people’s houses and sometimes seeing crayon marks on one of the nice books or somewhere. And I would think to myself, when I have kids that won’t happen in my house. And I still thought that when I had my first son. But then after the second or third I began to see how this sort of thing happens. While you’re busy with one child the other one is getting up to mischief. Often while you’re busy telling one off another will need attention and so things get left. I have a vivid memory too of coming home from church once when we had three little boys –they must have been 7, 4 and 3 – and there was a new hole in the ground. First, the eldest jumped in, then the second, then the third. Children copy each other – it was alright that time but sometimes it can be a problem.
4. Fast changing scene. Children especially are constantly changing. There is a big difference between a 2 year old toddler and a 10 year old boy and a 16 year old teenager. It would be madness to try treating them in the same way. At the same time technology is changing and the possibilities too. With our oldest we simply wouldn’t let him have his own hand held computer game but then at some point we were given some consoles and, for good or ill, all the boys sometimes play on the Nintendo or the Wii. Have we grown soft? Or are we just adapting to changing times? It can be a fine line but certainly we need to adapt.
5. In public and private. One other thing worth mentioning is that it is one thing to discipline children in the privacy of your home but when you are out or if you have visitors present, it is a different thing. Children often latch on to that and will take advantage sometimes, regardless of the consequences later. Again I am pointing out something to think about rather than giving answers though it should be obvious that we should aim to keep discipline as private as possible and certainly do all we can not to publicly humiliate our children. It is probably the public humiliation that drives the opposition to smacking children in the supermarket rather than a fundamental opposition to physical punishment.
6. Some closing remarks
Just four of these.
1. See the importance of not being too idealistic or complicated. Some Christian books on bringing up children though very good can tend this way. Some books, for example, will say that when you punish a child you should always take them to the Bible and show them the command they have broken first. Now that’s is fine as an ideal but the reality is that when you are all sat down for a meal and junior makes an inappropriate wisecrack or thumps his brother you need to deal with it promptly and opening the Bible to Exodus 20 is simply not on! You do not want anything too complicated either. Some good parents run reward schemes which is fine but not if they are too complicated. My inclination would be to make all sorts of rules about what children can and can’t do on the Lord’s Day but it is probably best to have broad rules and wait until things come up.
2. Expect to make mistakes and admit them. I think that has been clear from what I have said. We are sinners and so we are bound to fail at certain points. Bad behaviour will go unpunished. Good behaviour will go unrewarded. Worse, we will praise where no praise was due and worse again punish unjustly – for which we’ll have to apologise. We will have to change our ways and ideas at times. We are not to exasperate our children but sometimes we will and for that we must seek God’s forgiveness and theirs too.
3. Be thankful for the privilege. It is a wonderful thing to be parent for all the anxiety and trouble it may be. You are shaping a human being. You are having an influence that will last all his life. We should give thanks in all things but especially be thankful to God if he has chosen you for this task.
4. Look to God for grace. We must think seriously about this matter and do what we can to get it right but in the end we are in God’s hands and rely on his grace. If anything good comes out of your family or mine it is at least as much despite us as because of us. How we need God’s grace. Remember Jesus’s words Without me you can do nothing.
1. See the importance of not being too idealistic or complicated. Some Christian books on bringing up children though very good can tend this way. Some books, for example, will say that when you punish a child you should always take them to the Bible and show them the command they have broken first. Now that’s is fine as an ideal but the reality is that when you are all sat down for a meal and junior makes an inappropriate wisecrack or thumps his brother you need to deal with it promptly and opening the Bible to Exodus 20 is simply not on! You do not want anything too complicated either. Some good parents run reward schemes which is fine but not if they are too complicated. My inclination would be to make all sorts of rules about what children can and can’t do on the Lord’s Day but it is probably best to have broad rules and wait until things come up.
2. Expect to make mistakes and admit them. I think that has been clear from what I have said. We are sinners and so we are bound to fail at certain points. Bad behaviour will go unpunished. Good behaviour will go unrewarded. Worse, we will praise where no praise was due and worse again punish unjustly – for which we’ll have to apologise. We will have to change our ways and ideas at times. We are not to exasperate our children but sometimes we will and for that we must seek God’s forgiveness and theirs too.
3. Be thankful for the privilege. It is a wonderful thing to be parent for all the anxiety and trouble it may be. You are shaping a human being. You are having an influence that will last all his life. We should give thanks in all things but especially be thankful to God if he has chosen you for this task.
4. Look to God for grace. We must think seriously about this matter and do what we can to get it right but in the end we are in God’s hands and rely on his grace. If anything good comes out of your family or mine it is at least as much despite us as because of us. How we need God’s grace. Remember Jesus’s words Without me you can do nothing.
Being better parents 2
3. Realise that of themselves your parenting skills guarantee nothing
So your child or children are given to you by God. The most important thing is that they should be saved in order to serve God in their own generation. It’s an awesome task then to bring them up, as Paul says, in the training and instruction of the Lord. This leads to a word of encouragement and of warning. The warning is chiefly for younger parents and the warning chiefly for older ones.
Let’s begin with the warning. It is very easy to listen to a talk like this, especially if your children are still very young or not even born yet to think ‘Right. These are God’s children and the most important thing is that they should be saved and so I’m going to make sure that I so arrange things that they are bound to become Christians. We will read the Bible every day and we will keep the Lord’s Day special and not a day will go by without me praying for them.’ Now it is good to be keen to do such things, of course. I’m not saying anything against them. However, at the same time, we must continually remind ourselves that salvation is entirely from the Lord. It is a sobering thought to think that even those with the most godly parents you can imagine have nevertheless sometimes rejected the truth. We must do all we can then - but we must not think we can convert our children or make them Christians. Only God can do that. He uses means, of course, but he is sovereign in his use of those means and is not bound by them.
No doubt you can see the comfort in this. After you have been a parent for a while you are conscious of many, many mistakes and errors – some you can out right, some it is too late. Your children see you eventually at your worst. They know you like no-one else. They see your inconsistency, your hypocrisy, your poor leadership skills, your incompetence and lack of self-control. It is enough to make you want to give up some days. Now the comfort here is that children are not saved on the basis of how good we are at being parents. There is no slot machine here. This is not to make an excuse for bad parenting. It is simply reminder of the grace of God. That is our hope. If any child comes to know the Lord or turns out even halfway decent it is the grace of God. Good parenting is often a means to this but children are sinners too and sometimes even the best parenting produces nothing while even where there is quite poor parenting nevertheless the child grows up to be a good citizen and in some cases a citizen of heaven too.
4. Be prepared to discipline your child
Let’s begin with the warning. It is very easy to listen to a talk like this, especially if your children are still very young or not even born yet to think ‘Right. These are God’s children and the most important thing is that they should be saved and so I’m going to make sure that I so arrange things that they are bound to become Christians. We will read the Bible every day and we will keep the Lord’s Day special and not a day will go by without me praying for them.’ Now it is good to be keen to do such things, of course. I’m not saying anything against them. However, at the same time, we must continually remind ourselves that salvation is entirely from the Lord. It is a sobering thought to think that even those with the most godly parents you can imagine have nevertheless sometimes rejected the truth. We must do all we can then - but we must not think we can convert our children or make them Christians. Only God can do that. He uses means, of course, but he is sovereign in his use of those means and is not bound by them.
No doubt you can see the comfort in this. After you have been a parent for a while you are conscious of many, many mistakes and errors – some you can out right, some it is too late. Your children see you eventually at your worst. They know you like no-one else. They see your inconsistency, your hypocrisy, your poor leadership skills, your incompetence and lack of self-control. It is enough to make you want to give up some days. Now the comfort here is that children are not saved on the basis of how good we are at being parents. There is no slot machine here. This is not to make an excuse for bad parenting. It is simply reminder of the grace of God. That is our hope. If any child comes to know the Lord or turns out even halfway decent it is the grace of God. Good parenting is often a means to this but children are sinners too and sometimes even the best parenting produces nothing while even where there is quite poor parenting nevertheless the child grows up to be a good citizen and in some cases a citizen of heaven too.
4. Be prepared to discipline your child
You would expect me to say something about discipline so let’s look at that next. Eight brief things.
1. Understand the biblical authority structure in the family. It is not the father at the top then the mother, then older kids with the younger ones at the bottom. Rather, both parents have equal authority over all the children and unless it is specifically given to them for a certain occasion the children have no authority over each other. Obviously in the marriage bond the wife must submit to the husband and so when big decisions about parenting are being made that may come into play but as far as the children are concerned what dad says goes and what mam says goes. We will say something about when those two disagree later.
2. Recognise the legitimacy of physical punishment. There is quite a strong movement against physical punishment at present. Where physical punishment is allowed it can be too harsh. Generally speaking, society can never get a balance so having corrected one danger it now wants to go to the other extreme and ban all physical punishment. It is quite clear from the Bible, however, that physical punishment is permissible, indeed in many cases necessary.
No detail is given – What age?, Girls and boys? With the hand or an implement? Etc. Common sense will guide us in most of these matters. Let me just say that smacking is an important tool in a parent’s toolbox. Clearly we must never smack in temper. It should be done in a judicial way.
3. Every child is an individual and it is important to remember that. In the area of discipline this is clearly so. I have one son who is not particularly bothered by a smack if he deserves it and another who will often cry if you speak sternly to him. Obviously I deal with them differently. I have no girls but I would guess that they are quite different again and need to be handled so.
4. Physical punishment is not a panacea and really only works up until the age of about 8 or 9 with most children. This leaves another 10 years or so when smacking will not be an option. Even then, however, we must work on being fair and effective and try to come up with punishments that don’t drag on indefinitely.
5. Aim to break the will not the spirit of the child. They must learn who is in charge and respect our authority but we are seeking to control them or to press them into some mould of our own making. There is a difference (hard to spot sometimes) between rebellion and high spirits.
6. Be positive and encouraging. It is so easy to forget to do this. We are so busy with correcting them that we forget to give praise when praise is due. I’m sure my children would tell me I’m very bad at this. My own mother believed that too much praise wasn’t a good thing and might make a child too cocky. I think that is wrong. I suppose constant and unwarranted praise can puff someone up but God has his ways of bringing down the proud and it is not our job to burst people’s bubbles. God does that. Encourage them all you can. Like you and me, they need it.
7. Try to pre-empt trouble. Obviously thinking ahead helps. Best to avoid trouble than to get into a confrontation. One of our members, who is a single mother, was telling me how she read in a book about the danger of giving children too many choices. She suddenly realised what she was doing wasn’t helping her son. He’d come down in the morning and she’d say what cereal do you want for breakfast? And there would be a good choice. Then Which colour cup do you want? Then what did he want in his sandwiches as she made them? Then she’d let him have a choice over which clothes he would wear and what he might do before school and so on. Then at some point he would choose to do something that she didn’t want him to do and he’d be in trouble. Yet all he was doing was making another choice. We need to think things through then.
8. Try never to shout. Some of us rarely shout and it’s not too much of temptation. Some of us often shout. With children it is almost never a good idea. It’s easy to fall into though. Try not to do it.
1. Understand the biblical authority structure in the family. It is not the father at the top then the mother, then older kids with the younger ones at the bottom. Rather, both parents have equal authority over all the children and unless it is specifically given to them for a certain occasion the children have no authority over each other. Obviously in the marriage bond the wife must submit to the husband and so when big decisions about parenting are being made that may come into play but as far as the children are concerned what dad says goes and what mam says goes. We will say something about when those two disagree later.
2. Recognise the legitimacy of physical punishment. There is quite a strong movement against physical punishment at present. Where physical punishment is allowed it can be too harsh. Generally speaking, society can never get a balance so having corrected one danger it now wants to go to the other extreme and ban all physical punishment. It is quite clear from the Bible, however, that physical punishment is permissible, indeed in many cases necessary.
No detail is given – What age?, Girls and boys? With the hand or an implement? Etc. Common sense will guide us in most of these matters. Let me just say that smacking is an important tool in a parent’s toolbox. Clearly we must never smack in temper. It should be done in a judicial way.
3. Every child is an individual and it is important to remember that. In the area of discipline this is clearly so. I have one son who is not particularly bothered by a smack if he deserves it and another who will often cry if you speak sternly to him. Obviously I deal with them differently. I have no girls but I would guess that they are quite different again and need to be handled so.
4. Physical punishment is not a panacea and really only works up until the age of about 8 or 9 with most children. This leaves another 10 years or so when smacking will not be an option. Even then, however, we must work on being fair and effective and try to come up with punishments that don’t drag on indefinitely.
5. Aim to break the will not the spirit of the child. They must learn who is in charge and respect our authority but we are seeking to control them or to press them into some mould of our own making. There is a difference (hard to spot sometimes) between rebellion and high spirits.
6. Be positive and encouraging. It is so easy to forget to do this. We are so busy with correcting them that we forget to give praise when praise is due. I’m sure my children would tell me I’m very bad at this. My own mother believed that too much praise wasn’t a good thing and might make a child too cocky. I think that is wrong. I suppose constant and unwarranted praise can puff someone up but God has his ways of bringing down the proud and it is not our job to burst people’s bubbles. God does that. Encourage them all you can. Like you and me, they need it.
7. Try to pre-empt trouble. Obviously thinking ahead helps. Best to avoid trouble than to get into a confrontation. One of our members, who is a single mother, was telling me how she read in a book about the danger of giving children too many choices. She suddenly realised what she was doing wasn’t helping her son. He’d come down in the morning and she’d say what cereal do you want for breakfast? And there would be a good choice. Then Which colour cup do you want? Then what did he want in his sandwiches as she made them? Then she’d let him have a choice over which clothes he would wear and what he might do before school and so on. Then at some point he would choose to do something that she didn’t want him to do and he’d be in trouble. Yet all he was doing was making another choice. We need to think things through then.
8. Try never to shout. Some of us rarely shout and it’s not too much of temptation. Some of us often shout. With children it is almost never a good idea. It’s easy to fall into though. Try not to do it.
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