I'm taking a funeral this afternoon. It is for the lady who was the oldest member of our church.
I first met Lilian in 1983 when I came
to be the pastor here. I was 24 years old and Lilian
was 65. She was, even then, one of the older generation.
In 1983 Lilian had
recently retired from the civil service but was active in the
retirement fellowship. She used to get about in a little red car that
she carried on driving until her eyesight became too poor to do so
safely. She and her friend Ann Mathews would be there Sunday morning
and Sunday evening without fail for many years. When I came here,
Lilian was the church treasurer, a task she had fulfilled very well,
but from which she stepped down shortly after. Her full involvement
in church life continued for many years after that and it was only
bit by bit that she eventually came to the stage where she could no
longer join us at our meetings.
*
Lilian's parents lived in
Salusbury Road, Kilburn. When Lilian was due to be born, however, her
mother went home to West Wratting, Cambridgeshire, to her parents
and that's where Lily was born. Her father was a taxi driver and
owned his own business. Following the death of his first wife, Lily
Bucknell, he remarried and had two children in addition to the son
John (Jack) born to his first wife, Lilian (named for that first
wife) and Albert (called George). Lilian once told me of a day trip
they all made to Paris. They wanted to see the Eiffel Tower but it
was a little further away than expected. Apparently her brother
decided to make his own way there but the rest of the family did not
know and so they spent the rest of the day looking for him and never
did get to see the Eiffel Tower!
Being born in 1918, at
the end of the first world war, Lilian's earlier years were lived
through difficult and demanding times. One has the impression of a
happy family life but with some pressures. Lilian was an
exceptionally bright girl and went to Kingsbury Girls Grammar where
in June 1934 she passed with a credit in 5 of the 13 subjects and
gained a distinction in mathematics and then matriculated in 1935
from the University of London. She would have loved to have gone on
to study for a degree at university and become a school teacher of
Mathematics, but financial necessities meant that it was not
possible. Lilian left school at 16 and began to work for the locally
based Abbey National Building Society. She went on to take her civil
service examinations and by the time she was 20 was happily living
with her parents at 92 Gladstone Park Gardens, Cricklewood and
working in London.
It was on the 25th
August that everything took a dramatic turn with a confidential
letter at work. The year 1939 and, as we now all know, war was about
to come again. The immediate upshot for Lilian was a sudden transfer
from the familiar sights of London to unknown Tetbury. The government
had decided to place a number of civil servants outside London for
reasons of safety and security. I remember her telling me how when
she finally arrived at her billet, after a long day travelling, her
landlady Mrs Constable, said to her and her friend “Come on in, you
must be starved”. Lilian assumed this was a reference to being
hungry but in that part of the world being starved meant being cold!
About a year later Lilian
then moved to Worcester and it was while she was here that she
really came into the orbit of Christian people through her friends
Elsie and Mary. That first Christmas it wasn't possible to go home to
mum and dad and so, through Elsie, she was invited to spend it in
Malvern, in the home of the St John family, well known through the
missionary and writer Patricia St John.
It was during the war
that Lilian first came to trust in Christ for herself. She saw that
as conscientious as she undoubtedly was she was a sinner and she
needed to trust in Jesus Christ for forgiveness and strength to do
right. This she continued to do from her twenties into her thirties
and forties and on into her eighties and nineties by God's grace. On
the 24th January 1943, she was baptised, which was one
of her first acts of obedience we can be sure.
Eventually, she was able
to move back to Cricklewood permanently. While cutting the garden
hedge she spoke to a neighbour who invited her to come along to
Willesden Green Baptist Church and that is where she was a member for
the next 20 years. During that time she grew as a Christian,
benefiting not only from the evangelical preaching of the Word but
from evening lectures at the newly started London Bible College on
Marylebone Road and with thousands of others hearing Billy Graham
preaching in White City and elsewhere. She became aware of the
British Evangelical Council (now Affinity) and at an early point
became a personal member.
I am not sure exactly why
she left Willesden Green but there was a difficulty and so she
decided to begin to come to us here in Childs Hill. At that time John
Pretlove was the minister. John later moved to America but she
continued to keep in touch with him. I guess it was he who introduced
her to the RSV Bible, which she always used as her preferred version.
Lilian became a Sunday School teacher and a deacon and served the
church in many other ways. She was a great asset.
As I say, she was
treasurer when I came but resigned from that fairly early on. This
was partly because she then became very much involved in the
establishing of Spring Court, where she was to live for the next
nearly 25 years. The development was originally undertaken by the
Baptist Men's Association and Lilian was one of our church members
appointed to the committee that worked to establish it. It must have
been a great moment to see the place up and running after all the
planning. She sold her Gladstone Park Gardens home and moved there to
become one of the first residents. For most of her time there she was
very much involved in the daily life of the community serving on
various committees. It was my joy for some years to meet with her and
other residents once a fortnight. I particularly remember her
prayers. Lilian was a woman who knew how to pray. She had no stock
phrases but would genuinely shut herself in with God and make her
requests known.
Eventually even this came
to an end. For a while she was pretty much confined to her room with
a sore on her leg caused by the diabetes she had had for some time.
Eventually she was hospitalised and an amputation was recommended.
Those were tough days but she came through them and was able to move
into the home in Wembley, next door to Doris, Elsie's sister, who she
had known so many years. That was slightly frustrating in that even
though Doris was next door they could seldom meet. Then sadly Doris
went to be with the Lord on 11th January 2013.
This last year of life was not easy. Lilian kept quite bright almost
to the end. I last saw her five days before she died. She was rather
sleepy and not up to any real conversation. When I met with her, we
always prayed and read the Bible. On this occasion I read just one
verse. I read it because it was Christmas and because it seemed
appropriate. It was 2 Corinthians 8:9 For you know the grace of
our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he
became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich. That's the verse I plan to expound under the headings
1. Realise what the Lord Jesus
did for Lilian
2. Realise what that meant for her and what it can mean
for you
It is easy to say nice
things about Lilian. There is a lot to say. There is the example of
her faith. All through her life people in this country were turning
away from the faith and crying it down. Not her though. She continued
to believe all the way through by God's grace. With her faith came
service to God. She continued to serve as long as she could. Then
there was her patience and orderliness. Our strengths are often our
weaknesses. Lilian liked to go to bed quite late and if she then woke
up late she could be in a bit of a fluster as she would still have to
go through her morning routine before going out. God is a God of
order, however, and she is an example to us there. I could also
mention her kindness and friendliness. She was very formal. I
remember when I was first married. I sensed an awkwardness from
Lilian about speaking to Eleri. It then dawned on me. I had not
formally introduced her to Lilian. Once that was done it was nothing
but friendliness. I remember too how at Spring Court she would lean
over backwards to keep the peace and to be friendly to all. What a
good example she has left us.
On page 125 of Tom Nettles' new biography of Spurgeon he quotes him at the meeting of the Baptist Brethren when the Met Tab was to be opened in 1861 (see whole thing here).
