His diaries are chiefly prayer diaries. They say little about his daily routine but much about his relationship with God. On page after page, as one writer notes, one reads such sentences as
1742 Wednesday, April 21 ... and God again enabled me to wrestle for numbers of souls, and had much fervency in the sweet duty of intercession ...
Lord's Day, April 25 This morning I spent about two hours in secret duties and was enabled more than ordinarily to agonise for immortal souls. Though it was early in the morning and the sun scarcely shined at all, yet my body was quite wet with sweat ...
Saturday, December 15 Spent much time in prayer in the woods and seemed raised above the things of this world ...
1743 Monday, March 14 ... in the morning was almost continually engaged in ejaculatory prayer ...
Thursday, August 4 Was enabled to pray much, through the whole day ...
Lord's Day, April 25 This morning I spent about two hours in secret duties and was enabled more than ordinarily to agonise for immortal souls. Though it was early in the morning and the sun scarcely shined at all, yet my body was quite wet with sweat ...
Saturday, December 15 Spent much time in prayer in the woods and seemed raised above the things of this world ...
1743 Monday, March 14 ... in the morning was almost continually engaged in ejaculatory prayer ...
Thursday, August 4 Was enabled to pray much, through the whole day ...
Thursday, November 3 Spent this day in secret fasting and prayer, from morning till night ...
He once wrote in his journal (04/08/44) 'Was enabled to pray much the whole day. It is good, I find, to persevere in attempts to pray, if I cannot pray with perseverance, ie continue long in my addresses to the divine Being. I have generally found, that the more I do in secret prayer, the more I have delighted to do, and have enjoyed more of a spirit of prayer; and frequently have found the contrary, when with journeying or otherwise I have been much deprived of retirement.'Only a man very familiar with the work of prayer can write with that sort of insight.
Something similar could be done with regard to his zeal.
1742 April 26 Oh, that I could spend every moment of my life to God's glory!
August 30 My soul longs with a vehement desire to live to God.
1744 April 30 Oh that time should pass with so little done for God!
1745 November 22 I have received my all from God. Oh that I could return my all to God.
1746 May 22 I longed to be as a flame of fire, continually glowing in the divine service, preaching and building up Christ’s kingdom, to my latest, my dying moment.
August 30 My soul longs with a vehement desire to live to God.
1744 April 30 Oh that time should pass with so little done for God!
1745 November 22 I have received my all from God. Oh that I could return my all to God.
1746 May 22 I longed to be as a flame of fire, continually glowing in the divine service, preaching and building up Christ’s kingdom, to my latest, my dying moment.
5. He was indeed expelled from Yale.
He entered the college in 1739 and, despite various setbacks, became the best student there. In 1742, while still in his junior year, however, he was expelled. This was for criticising a tutor in private and refusing to confess this crime before the assembled college. It is important to understand the background to this. It lies in Brainerd's attachment to the 'New Lights' movement within Presbyterianism that arose during the Great Awakening. The faithful, stirring preaching of Whitefield combined with the 'raging and fuming' of Connecticut preacher James Davenport (1716-1757) to produce many tensions. Against that background the college decreed that any student speaking critically of the spiritual standing of any tutor would have to come before the college and openly repent. Failure to do so would lead to expulsion.
It so happened that in 1742 Brainerd, speaking to some friends, said of Yale tutor Chauncey Whittelsey (1717-1787), whom he thought antagonistic to the revival, that he had 'no more grace than this chair' (a remark that turned out to be quite unjust). A younger student overheard what was said and mentioned it to someone else who in turn spoke to the college's strict and overbearing rector, Thomas Clap (1703-1767) who made the student tell all. Despite Brainerd's expressions of regret his remark, his refusal to make a public confession led to him being expelled. Many, many attempts were made to have him reinstated and in fact the way eventually opened up for his reinstatement, but by then he was wholly taken up with missionary work and a return to college was not realistic. Ironically, in the 19th Century a Brainerd Hall was established on the Yale campus.
It so happened that in 1742 Brainerd, speaking to some friends, said of Yale tutor Chauncey Whittelsey (1717-1787), whom he thought antagonistic to the revival, that he had 'no more grace than this chair' (a remark that turned out to be quite unjust). A younger student overheard what was said and mentioned it to someone else who in turn spoke to the college's strict and overbearing rector, Thomas Clap (1703-1767) who made the student tell all. Despite Brainerd's expressions of regret his remark, his refusal to make a public confession led to him being expelled. Many, many attempts were made to have him reinstated and in fact the way eventually opened up for his reinstatement, but by then he was wholly taken up with missionary work and a return to college was not realistic. Ironically, in the 19th Century a Brainerd Hall was established on the Yale campus.
6. Brainerd was always sickly and also much given to depression of mind.
Though afflicted throughout his final years it was not until 1747 that he abandoned his work among the Native Americans, eventually coming to Jonathan Edwards' home, where he spent his final weeks before dying of tuberculosis on October 9, 1747, aged just 29.
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